Friday Afternoon

The sun sets blazingly on this friday afternoon, igniting the glitter embezzled in the walkway outside of the residences. Most people are merely passing through, but a few flock around the benches and planters, awaiting nightfall. There is a light-heartedness about Fridays that puts its people at ease, a shining grin flashes at every which corner and the noises in the air are dappled in giggles and gasps of enthusiasm. Even the sun beats down a little more gentle on a Friday, sending delicate breezes over the backs of young women basking lazily by the poolside this early afternoon. And the boys hop on their longboards and swirl around the walkway, some carrying books or groceries. Almost all of them are wearing any combination of Rayband sunglasses, a backwards hat and a colorful tank. They too, are beaming on this vivid Friday afternoon in San Diego.

Today, the boys couldn't help notice her, dressed in white shorts and a comfortably loose black V-neck. Atop her beachy blonde waves sat a worn, mishapen, straw fedora that oozed a summery aura and accentuated the fact that it is, indeed, Friday once again. Her skin was bronzed from roaming around in her swimsuit all day, refusing to take it off. She had come to visit the boys across the way from her room and treat them to a ceremonious Friday afternoon smoke session. While they were always more than eager to pack her a bowl any day of the week, today, it was her treat.

One of the boys produced an artsy bubbler for her and filled it with water, another fetched her a grinder for the buds. She took off her aviators and began to methodically pack the bowl as they all circled around on the back porch. As they waited, they laughed and shared stories of "thirsty Thursday" and the morning classes that had them just barely nodding off. But the tempo of their conversation slowed just a bit as she flicked her lighter and lowered it into the bowl. She drew up a deep breath and let the smoke seep out of her mouth like an eerie ghost. One of the boys payed close attention to the cupid's bow shape of her parted lips as she exhaled, adoring their sweet rosiness and the milky marijuana that passed through them.

She jolted suddenly before falling into a violent coughing fit and folding herself in half in her chair. She rumbled her feet to regain composure, pounded her chest with her fist and handed off the bubbler to the one on her left. She cracked a smile amidst her fit, inviting them to laugh at her and slap her on the back like a brother. Of course, they all hacked and coughed when they took a hit. The piece circled around at a lazy pace but it didn't take long for each of them to rise up like released balloons into a hazy cloud in which they pleasantly floated. 

There was a humid sweetness about the air whenever they smoked, so that when it was a particularly warm afternoon, they couldn't help but feel as if they were off far away in a tropical paradise. Relaxing outside under  the shady eaves on this bright day heightened this imaginative notion. One felt Hawaii. The girl felt a Cubano flavor from her elevated vista. One swayed breezily in Jamaica while another traveled so far as South Africa for its mediterranean likeness to San Diego. Friday afternoon is paradiso. But even as they all vacationed their senses to distant destinations, they knew that they were already living in paradise. And for that very reason of living in their own paradise, could they let themselves mingle and experience someone else's paradise even if just through their imaginations.

Ah springtime in San Diego. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and the college freshman is trying to make sense of it all. miserably.
But really, I'm a happy girl today. Even as I write this, I am laying on a towel, bikini-clad, by the pool doing homework and regaining my cute, california tan. I even found time today to stop by the koi pond and get lost for a little bit in its serenity (while munching on crunchy tacos yummm). I also feel really good because I am one of the better oral speakers in my Spanish 201 class. I havnt taken Spanish since junior yr of high school so its an ego boost to know that I can still speak it well, and with a "beautiful" accent that had some fooled into believing I grew up in Spain. My profesora is Argentinian, so I will work on cultivating an exotic Argentinian accent to put into effect once I trek down to Mexico for spring break.
Springitme, and love is in the air. Could it be? Does Jill actually have a legitimate romantic interest for once? Yes. A small step but yes. I've known Scott since high school. He's always been one of my stoner boys, and to him, I've always been "one of the guys". He went to the community college back in Scripps this past fall semester, but he recently transferred to SDSU and is living across from me in Tepyac. With an already solid friendship and a comedic chemistry, we were bound to hit it off.
He's a lover. Really good at talking to girls about what girls like to talk about. He isn't shy with his words, lets me know what he's thinking instead of most men who habitually bottle up thoughts that don't even need bottling. Here's the bonus: he notices my appearance and pores over my body like it's a work of art. He says I have set the new standard in the type of body he's looking for. By far, the best body he has ever been with. I didn't believe him, but he insists. So guess who's feeling pretty today? He also notices things that anyone (even girls) would never expect to hear from their man.

"You're hair looks really pretty today, did you do something different to it?"
"Yeah, actually I put product in it for once," blushingly, "Thanks,"
or
"That's a cool shirt, I'm digging the colors,"
And even though his comment may seem trivial, I melt inside.

Ok, so here's the catch: My best friend in the whole wide world, Marie, has slept with him before. Practically under the same conditions. They were doing community college together and found their previous friendship a springboard for a sweet, non-serious romance. And when Marie told me, I was a bit jealous. Their dance was shortlived, bumped back down to very good stoner friends again. How the tables have turned! And yet, I havn't told Marie. I shouldn't be so nervous, i mean, he WAS really just a fling to her. But I definately feel like im going aginst some sister code by doing this and not saying anything. I will find the right time. Perhaps only when I start feeling serious. Doubt that will ever happen...

It does excite me that Valentines day is around the corner and for once, I just might have a valentine. YES, Valentines day is a stupid holiday. I truly believe this. Even with a valentine, it's still stupid. But as long as i have one, I'll embrace the day as a "romantic opportunity". And this time I'll do something plain and simple like a card and a rolled up blunt. Yeah. a blunt. Perfect gift for Scott.

Time for the fishes

Felt slightly miffed when I walked by the koi pond on campus today and didn't have time to sit down and watch the fish and the turtles. I was too busy rushing to class. Then again, I wanted this. Sometime this semester, perhaps a few times, I will revisit that empty thinking space in my brain and laze around on the lawn, watching the fish swirl around in their serene vessel. But for now, I'm adjusting to the never ending flow of information thats been filling up my brain, previously emptied from a bland, melancholic winter break.
I guess i'm moody today. But it's because I havn't had a good toke in 2 days. Only 2 days? I am pathetic. But i know it would make me feel better. There are no problems to resolve really, I'm just moody and would like to light up.
As long as I'm bitching, lemme just say that my suitemates are disgusting little pigs. I don't think these girls have ever washed a single dish in their entire life. Our kitchenette, no larger than your average writing desk, has NO room in the sink or counter for their nasty, unwashed dishes. They are covered in food, and if the girls decide to go the extra mile, they will rinse their plate and leave a lovely, oily residue behind. Have they never heard of SOAP? Oh! or how they left popcorn kernels and instant soup pieces in the drain. Um yeah we DONT have a garbage disposal so get your nasty ass leftovers out of the sink that all 8 of us have to use. The funny thing is, they're a lot prettier and well kempt than I am when it comes to their personal appearance. Total girly girls. disgusting, spoiled girly girls who have never cleaned up after themselves in their lives. While i may envy their beauty, popularity and their affinity for attracting boys up to the suite, at least i can sit high and mighty knowing that at least I'm not a slob.

Mother

Santa Barbara was wild, I'll say thought. I didn't realize those nerds like to party harder than SDSU but I guess it's because they are overworked up there. I felt very adult driving up there with only Marie, kind of spur of the moment, skip town style. SB is beautiful though, I could totally see myself living there when (and if) I settle down. Marie liked it more than I did though, she didn't want to leave. I think it's because she has to go ack home to her parents while I get to back to the dorms today at school. She's 19 and still answers to her parents like a 14 year old. Must liberate her from that prison...
My dad went to San Francisco yesterday morning, leaving just my mom and I in the house. We only went on a target run together really, but over this break, I've felt closer to her. Partly because I needed to renew that sense of maternal affection, but also because I think she's lonely only having dad here (and he drives her crazy sometimes. really.) This house is so boring. She took a 2 week medical leave from work due to some serious depression, so I'm just trying to be a good supportive daughter.
I told Marie that telling your mom a little secret about your life can go a long way. Moms like to be included in their daughters' lives like that, to be in on some of the gossip. The days of schoolgirlhood are long past moms, they just want to be included in that small piece of social life. I told my mom about all the wild stuff I did while partying up at UCSB (not too much) and she seemed pleased, understanding and relieved that I wasn't doing something worse up there. Marie should do the same, maybe her mom will let her do more things that she once thought "dangerous" like going to shows or staying out past senior bedtime. PUHlease sherri do you live under a rock? Her paranoia is almost a Lampoon on over-protective moms everywhere. Like you could listen to her being serious about safety, and think that she was sarcastically joking, because such measures would be rediculous. But she was really being serious when she said "You girls shouldn't be walking the strip at night. Scary men will come up and snatch you and sell you into the sex-slave industry. just like that,"
(Nobody wants to hear this crap, so I post it here instead of facebook)

THIS is my dog, Zorro.

Yesterday, in continuing spirit of getting active, I hiked Mt. Woodson with Marie and company. I am reeeally out of shape but still amazed at what my body can do. I was the first one to the top, text book example of "slow and steady wins the race" kinda thing. My butt hurts. I wish I would get out and exercise like that more often, it releases endorphins like you wouldn't believe. Wish i was addicted to exercise instead of weed.

Lost my phone last night. Really uneasy without my phone by my side, I'm totally one with that stupid thing. I'm going back to Pazzo's today to see if those buttholes actually DO have my phone. I asked them last night about it during closing, the didn't even look. Just said they didn't have it. Makes me wanna trash their business. They only hire total tools anyway. Men I can't stand. Why don't you just go off-roading in the desert and never come back?

I just stopped and thought of what to write next, but realized my emotions are few and minor. My social life has been in a drought, so it's like my mind is dry. But my focus always comes back to my jokable love life. I'm not attracted to anyone! I keep getting men lined up, but when it comes to pulling the trigger, I recede and choke up. "I need to go home" or "next time" are phrases that will NEVER get me laid. Well, the problem isn't getting laid, I could get laid if i reeeally needed to. It's picking someone who I'm not going to instantly loathe the second he finishes and rolls over in bed. Maybe I'd be satisfied if I took more charge on the stage, instead of playing helpless, lifeless slave. I used to be a sex goddess, where did my confidence and power go?? Down the drain when I started gaining weight and seeing how awful college boys are.

Turning around

Last post I just really wanted to lament over my lost piano. But there are other things going on too, i swear. Apart from feeling very fat from the dormancy of winter break, and depression from being cooped up in the house, my spirits are slowly starting to turn upward again. I hopped on a bike yesterday and rode around the block because this weekend I'm going up to Santa Barbra with Marie to go visit our friend Cassidy who goes to UCSB. Everyone gets around on bike up there, so I don't wanna look like a fool. Turns out, i have no quad strength and can barely handle a slope. Better get back on that bike again today or I'll be walking it the entire trip!
My poor poor sister, what has gotten into her? She's 29 years old but handles social situations like a 12 yr old. On Sunday, she totally stormed off while we were waiting in line at Nord's cafe, leaving me standing there like a fool. Very mature, Ashley. My mom returned to the line from browsing and was like "Whaaaa?? Where's Ash??" and I had to explain to her that she is STILL pissed over the whole Christmas thing. I tried to explain to her that Kim wasn't disrespecting her (c'mon I WAS there) but Ash just has to assume that the world is against her and responds by throwing a tantrum. Once again, I have to wait for an indefinite period of time until she decides to come back to the family, all hunky dory. I'm sick of letting her throw a fit and come back whenever she pleases. Family's shouldn't function like this, but I guess running is better than staying and fighting (in Nordstrom, could you imagine? mortifying).
Today, I'll smoke weed. The folks at UDank.com really know how to keep me company in this time in my life where socializing seems to have come to all but a complete standstill. Also, I'm sick. It's impressive how much  getting high makes my me feel better, it really eliminates the worst symptoms. That overall crappy, heavy feeling of being sick goes away with the puff of a cloud. Must wait for mom to go to work first. and that's why I'm here.